Thursday, July 27, 2006

All About Becky

From the hospital, Becky has requested that I write about her, so I'm going to do that. She also says that I should put her eulogy in here, which is something I had to write for Death and Dying. I made up some stuff and it's about 2 1/2 pages long, so enjoy that. Here it is.

Dear family and friends, we are here today to honor and celebrate the life of Rebecca Gerity, better known to most of us as Becky. Happily, Becky is able to be here with us today. You’ll recognize her as the short blonde in the front row. Becky is many things to many people. She is a daughter, a wife, a sister and a friend. In a few weeks she will also be the mother of twin girls, who I am sure will be beautiful. Becky is my one and only sister as well as my friend. Though, if she keeps calling me in the middle of the night I might take friend off that list. She also wants me to tell you that she is the hottest girl I know.
I have chosen to honor my sister because she is my sister, and also my best friend. What greater reason is there than that? For all her strange quirks, Becky is a fantastic person. Her quirks make her who she is. Becky wouldn’t be Becky without her obsession with the color pink or her “ghetto driving.”
I have known Becky for almost 21 years. We met at O’Bleness the day she was born. I was two and a half years old and she had just been born. Becky is enrolled in the Toledo Academy of Beauty. She has three days of school to finish before she can become a cosmetologist, but she has to wait until the twins are born before she can do that. So, for now she sits in the hospital and does not exactly “make a living.”
The thing I admire most about my sister is that she is always there for me. Being my sister, I suppose I should expect that, but I am still grateful that she is there. Not all sisters have the relationship we have. We have not always had the relationship we have now. When we were younger, we fought almost constantly, and always over small, petty things. I remember at least one fight over computer time that turned into a game of Who Can Make the Funniest Animal Noise. At the end, for some reason, we poured pepper into each other’s milk. I also admire that Becky has practically no fear. Sure, she cries every time she sees a needle, but outside of that, fearless. Becky does not hide her feelings from other people. If she likes you, you know it. If she hates you, you know it.
If there was just one thing I could tell the world about Becky, it is that if she is mean to you, she likes you. A lot of people have told me how mean my sister is, but it is really just her way of being friendly. It sounds weird, but it is true. It is kind of how our whole family works. We express our love for each other in endless jokes and insults. Becky tells you if she does not like you. If she seems a little harsh, she is just playing.
I have learned so many things from Becky it is hard to remember them all. For one, I learned from her that being late is not the end of the world. Becky operates on her own time scale, called Becky Time. Becky Time is generally at least ten minutes behind the time the rest of us use. On a more serious note, Becky has also taught me about friendship. She is kind of required to be my sister, as the biology of that cannot be changed, but she is not required to be my friend. Becky and I are very different in some ways, but we can be friends in spite of our differences. Becky is a strong-willed, outgoing, pink loving girly girl, and I am pretty much the exact opposite. Perhaps I have also learned that opposites really do attract.
Now I would like to share a few anecdotes with you. Becky and I have had some very odd adventures. In high school I drove a 1988 Chrysler LeBaron convertible. It was a pile of junk, but it moved. Gas prices were much lower then, and we used to drive around town blasting Ricky Martin’s Livin’ La Vida Loca with the top down. We played the song over and over again. The CD player in my car did not have a repeat function, so Becky kept “falling over” and “accidentally” playing the song again. It does not sound like anything special, but we thought it was hilarious.
Also hilarious was Becky’s bachelorette party. The party started off with typical bachelorette party games, and then moved to Dave and Buster’s in Columbus. The games were fun, but the Scavenger Hunt was more fun. Becky’s friend Erin found the Scavenger Hunt card and we enjoyed finding people to do the tasks for us. We had an entire group of men on their knees singing “You Are So Beautiful” to my sister. We also got an employee to give my sister a rainbow tattoo with a pen. Becky got marriage advice from all of the bartenders and a manager. Though it is unlikely, I would like to believe that the employees of that restaurant will not soon forget us. Even without alcohol the four of us were probably the single most annoying group there.
Basically, I have put everyone through all of this to come to my final conclusion. I love my sister!

She also says she misses arguing with Scott.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Jacci the Press Secretary

My sister is having twins on August 1 at 10 AM. Hooray for being an aunt! I don't think I'll make a very good aunt, but there's nothing to be done for it. I don't know if I'll even be able to be at the hospital on the 1st. I'll have to discuss with some professors.

Speaking of professors, one of mine seems to think that mock elections are a good idea. We have a Republican group, a Democrat group and a journalists group. I get to be press secretary for the Republicans. It should actually be fun. We haven't decided who we're going to pretend to be, but I think it's going to be Olympia Snow (I think that's her name). She a senator from Maine. We're mock running for president. We assume that the Democrats are going to run Hillary against us. I think we can beat her. Hillary's scary. The most entertaining part of this, I think, is going to be that our campaign manager is a College Democrat and our fake Olympia Snow is a College Republican. I think it will be funny.

Apparently our electorate is going to be another Poli-sci class, so we're not too ecstatic about our chances of winning over what is sure to be a room full of Democrats, but we have strategies. Some of them are simple like e-spamming them. Others involve buying people off for ten dollars. Apparently Dr. Gordon doesn't want us resorting to cheating, but what's a presidential campaign without a little cheating? But, alas, I think we shall be sticking to fair play.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Bye-Bye Kearnsy

MY Austin Kearns. Traded to the stupid Nationals where he will have to suffer the terror known as Jim Bowden. He was MINE! He was staying in Cincinnati for the rest of forever because I said it would be so. Thanks for listening Wayne! Now I have to get a new favorite Red.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Boo Summer School

It turns out that taking three classes at once during the summer is not exactly wise. One of them doesn't start until July 10, so at least for now it's only the two, but even so, sitting through 6 straight hours of class is no fun. I'm pretty much dreading the four days I'm going to have to sit through 10 straight hours. It would be different if I had a bit of a break in between. I also don't like having to eat lunch at 11:30 and then having to wait until 7:30 for dinner. That blows, too. I like eating.

To make myself feel better I have procured the sequel to Wicked. Thus far it is quite good. I had pretty high expectations for it, so it must be meeting them to this point. I was very angry when I finished Wicked because one character's story line was left entirely unfinished. It seemed like he had left it open for a sequel. I believe he said something about how the kid went off to look for someone but that's a story for another time or something like that, but I didn't know he had written a sequel, I thought it was just going to come up later in the book, but it never did. So angry. Then Son of a Witch was brought to my attention, and I was much happier. Not only is the story wrapped up (I assume), but there's a whole book! More for me to read! But then more for me to pay, also. But I don't care. I'm getting a little tired of reading the same books over and over again. Not that they're bad, I just want to read new things.

Now I am very hungry. Stupid dinner having to be cooked first. I want it to come out of the freezer ready to eat. But, unfortunately, ice cream does not a healthy dinner make.

First Day of Summer

Happy Looking Forward to Heat, Humidity, Sunburn and Aloe Day!

That's more than a little pessimistic, huh?

Monday, June 05, 2006

Bumper Sticker!

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be
Barbie is not a slut - her legs won't open

Thursday, June 01, 2006

JUNE!!!

Happy June! My sister is married! Here's a picture!



And here's a picture of me dancing with Becky.



It's really hot. I'm almost done with this quarter. I'm sick of school. I have never missed the Dayton area more than I do right now. Probably because I miss my friends. I want to go swimming, which I will get to do this weekend. Yay! That's about it.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Par-tay

Bachelorette Scavenger Hunts are a good deal of fun. There's nothing quite like asking a bunch of drunk strangers to get down on one knee and serenade the bride-to-be (allowing them to sing whatever song they want), or getting one of the Dave and Buster's managers to give three sex or marriage tips, or having all the bartenders write "good luck" messages on the back of the card. The good luck messages turned out to be more like sexual advice, but whatever. It was highly entertaining.

Also, cake and brownies are good, but eating too much of them leads to feeling quite crappy the next day.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Waffles II

Today I purchased waffles. All is right with the world. Maybe not all. Much is right with the world.

On another note, the Preakness was yesterday. I suppose this probably means little to most people, but it's usually exciting for me. This year's version was pretty darn scary, though. Last year's was scary, too. Last year Afleet Alex put on a little circus show. This year Barbaro, who I am quite convinced would have finally won the Triple Crown after 28 years of no Triple Crown winners, busted the hell out of his leg. It looked gross. TV kept showing it. Apparently he had three broken bones in the bottom half of this one leg (one of the bones was pretty much shattered) and had dislocated his ankle. He had 7 hours of surgery today, has 23 screws in his leg, and a whole lot of not moving to look forward to for the next couple of months, but he survived. They didn't have to put him down. Granted, he's certainly not out of the woods yet. Now they're worried about infection and something awful called laminitis, that leads to foundering, which is really quite nasty, but he's got a lot of people giving him lots of medicine so hopefully that doesn't happen. Apparently horses with that severe of a fracture are generally euthanized on the track right then and there, but since Barbaro is worth millions of dollars they actually bothered to attempt to save his life. The doctor that did the surgery said he'd never worked on so many injuries on one horse at the same time. It seems he did a good job, though.

In the '70's there was a horse named Ruffian who was all kinds of awesome and she beat up on all the other fillies she raced. Her owners put her in a match race with Foolish Pleasure, winner of the Kentucky Derby and other things I'm sure, and she shattered her front leg then kept trying to run on it. They tried to operate on her leg to save her, and actually managed to get the surgery done, but when she woke up she freaked out, kicked everything, destroyed everything the doctors had done in surgery and caused even more damage. She had to be put down. ESPN is making a TV movie about her. She was something awesome, but that's not going to be a fun movie to watch.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Waffles

I desire waffles. That is all.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hax0red

Oh hackers, how we love ye. I want to blame the whole situation on OU, but I'm not sure I can. I think this might be the work of pathetically obsessed jerkwads with way too much time on their hands. I'm not sure that OU was actually the screw up this time. Or these times, rather, as it has happened three times in the last few weeks now. It's rather disconcerting. They have firewalls and all that jazz and I'd assume they have pretty fancy protection stuffs going on. It's certainly not for lack of finances if they don't. I wasn't concerned about this latest hacking because it was in Hudson's data and I hadn't ever been sick enough to go to Hudson. Then I remembered that I did go there for a TB test. And even if there hadn't been that, it's the student health center. Who knows what kind of info they have there?

The FBI's all over this and there were news vans all over campus today. Channel 4 was here, but there was no Chopper 4. Too bad. Their news van does not fly, but it does have a giant satellite on top. The news vans were how I found out about this latest one. I had to watch the news to figure out what all the news stations were doing on campus. It's not often the Columbus media is interested enough in a story down here to actually send crews to Athens. I'm quite convinced they only do it to make fun of us, though. They like to compare us to OSU in a not so flattering way. Someone said that they did a story on the girl that got kidnapped and driven around the state or whatever a few years ago and made it sound like that kind of thing happens here all the time (which it doesn't). They proceeded to follow that story with one about the superb safety of OSU's campus. Which do you think is safer, Athens or Columbus?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Silly Time Warner

I had an envelope in my mail today from Time Warner Cable with "Please Accept Our Apology" written on the front in big, blue letters. I said, "Only if your apology comes in the form of cash," as I was assuming it was going to be a "we're raising your rates" apology. Anyway, I opened the letter and it was blabbing on about how their recent billing conversion was causing problems for people and the volume of calls about that had hindered their previously impeccable customer service and concluded with "Over the past few weeks, we haven't met your expectations for great service, and we're sorry. Please accept these free CAPA and Columbus Zoo tickets as our thanks for your patience during this time." So, I hadn't dealt with their customer service at all. I hadn't noticed anything, but because a bunch of other people were pissed, I now possess two tickets to the CAPA Summer Movie Series and two tickets to the Columbus Zoo. Way cool. I don't know anything about the CAPA Summer Movie Series. I don't even know what CAPA stands for. So I'm going to go investigate.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Accidental Baseball

I accidentally stumbled upon my cousin's baseball game today. I went for a walk after class because I had nothing better to do with my day, walked by a ballpark and was flagged down by my aunt. That was pretty neat. Casey's in 6th grade, but he gets to play for the 7th grade team because he's awesome like that. He plays for the 6th grade team, too. My uncle is one of the coaches for his team because he's awesome, too. That and he coaches and referees all sports in Nelsonville. He's even the announcer for the high school football games. Anyway, here are some not-so-fabulous pictures. It's hard to take good pictures through a fence.

Uncle Steve the 3rd base coach

Casey hard at work

Casey again

Sam wants to play, too, but the sign says "No Dogs Allowed"

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Results!

Since I gave everybody horses for the Derby, I figured I ought to tell you how they did. So, here's that.

Chris - Barbaro - 1st
Steph - Bluegrass Cat - 2nd
Mike - Steppenwolfer - 3rd
Christina - Brother Derek - 4th
Jeremy - Showing Up - 6th
Andrea - Sweetnorthernsaint - 7th
Dan - Deputy Glitters - 8th
Eric - Point Determined - 9th
Jess - Seaside Retreat - 10th
Jacci - Lawyer Ron - 12th
Megan - Cause to Believe - 13th
Ben - Private Vow - 15th
Jon - Sinister Minister - 16th
Scott - Bob and John - 17th
Matt - A.P. Warrior - 18th
Becky - Sharp Humor - 19th
Ashley - Keyed Entry - 20th

"I Hate Horses" Berlo wins. Doesn't that just figure?

Friday, May 05, 2006

Wasting my Time

More quizzly action. These things make it so easy to not do any actual thinking for myself.

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:
"I dunno, press the button and find out."

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Kentucky Derby in 3 Days!

In honor of the Kentucky Derby and my obsession with horse racing, I have taken the liberty of assigning y'all horses for the Derby. You don't get anything if your horse wins (unless you decide you want to have a Derby Pool or something, but that's up to you guys), but I thought it would be fun to force everyone to share a bit of the interest with me. If I don't have you on the list but you want to play too, lemme know. I'll find ya a horse. So, without further ado, THE LIST!

Andrea - Sweetnorthernsaint
Ashley - Keyed Entry
Becky - Sharp Humor
Ben - Private Vow
Chris - Barbaro
Christina - Brother Derek
Dan - Deputy Glitters
Eric - Point Determined
Jacci - Lawyer Ron
Jeremy - Showing Up
Jess - Seaside Retreat
Jon - Sinister Minister
Matt - A.P. Warrior
Megan - Cause to Believe
Mike - Steppenwolfer
Scott - Bob and John
Steph - Bluegrass Cat

Yay for that!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Exams Break My Wrist

Writing for an hour and 45 minutes really hurts. It's been over three hours and my whole arm still hurts.

Now I think I'm going to go buy McDonald's for dinner. I'm feeling lazy.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I managed to run away from creepy stalker dude yesterday. It was a surprise. He came to class late so he sat on the opposite side of the room from me, which gave me just enough time to get out the door before he caught up with me. Then I turned left down the hallway instead of right and, thanks to the vast number of people tramping through the hallway, I must have escaped his notice. I didn't have to lie to him to get rid of him this time. Just walk quickly and hide. I don't think that's going to work every day, though. This is turning out to be quite the adventure, though.

I want to point out that this guy isn't the dangerous real stalker type. He's just a lonely guy with no friends in the city and he's kind of latched on to me. He just happens to be all kinds of annoying, too. He also looks like an even less attractive Paul Giamatti. I can't be mean and tell him to go away because I feel sorry for him, but I don't want to spend all of my free time with him either. Not to mention that feeling sorry for someone isn't a good reason to be friends. There seems to be no middle ground with him, though. He can't just leave it at talking when we see each other at class and walking back from class together. We go the same direction and I wouldn't mind walking with him if he would stop at his place instead of always going to mine. I'm running out of reasons why he can't come in. Homework's a good one, but I don't think he's going to buy it for long. I mean, who does homework at 10 in the morning every day? And I already discovered that "I have to go to the library" results in "I'll come with you." It's just so frustrating! Minor, yes, but frustrating all the same.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

TV Is Stupid

All kinds of bored. I could be watching Desperate Housewives, but they're playing some stupid recap episode so I can catch up on the season if I haven't seen it, which I have. It's really not that great this season. I've only been watching it out of habit and because it's something to do. I certainly don't need to see the whole thing all over again. Usually I'm happy that the Reds generally play in the afternoon on Sundays, but not at this moment. I have nothing to do with myself right now. Not even homework. Not that I'd do it right now if I had it, but still, I don't even have the option.

Speaking of the Reds, they got their asses totally kicked on Saturday only to turn around and totally kick the Brewers asses today. Very exciting. And while we're talking about the Reds, there's a game on May 13 that Christina and I would like to go to. Tell us if you would like to come, too! It's Adam Dunn Figurine Night. We need to get one.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

It Seems I Like Apples

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red are You?



Hehe...

Probing.

So creepy stalker dude has gotten even more creepy. I know he's just lonely and the fact that I'll talk to him and whatnot gives him the impression that I'm his best friend or something, but I really wish he'd quit following me around. I had to go to the library to do an assignment yesterday that involved walking around the 3rd and 6th floors looking for random journals that might be relevent to studying mental health. Creepy dude decides to follow me in circles for an HOUR. I didn't have to do the assignment right then, but I thought it'd be enough to deter him from following me around all afternoon. I was wrong. In the middle of this, out of nowhere, he starts telling me how he was shy in high school and he was always looking down. At prom I guess his friends told him that he shouldn't look at girls' breasts while he's dancing with them. Apparently, the lesson he learned here was that he should look at breasts discreetly. My response was, "Or not at all!!" And he said, "Oh, uh, yeah, not at all. That's right." What with this latest conversation and the spending two hours talking about all of his ex-girlfriends and how often he thinks about sex this guy is not doing a good job of getting on my good side. He even went so far as to tell me that I can't be a good baseball fan unless I can throw a ball. If he keeps this up I'll show him just how well I can throw a ball. At his face.